How are you? I thought about you just now. How are you doing? Are you going to classes? Are you taking exams? Are you still full of dreams?

Or is everything back to sepia and gray again? 

I am reading and reading and reading, working and working and working. I am going crazy with daydreams and distractions. Nothing gets absorbed, everything needs to be in the working memory, nothing gets consolidated. I read and I forget. Then I think of you a little bit. Then I go set some crosses, do some assays; go to one of the three terraces in the building and smoke a few cigarettes thinking of you.

All this seems like a wild dream. Europe. States. Cambridge. 

All of it was impossible without you, without your one phone call in a winter night, on the eve of a semester-exam,  desperately persuading me to finish ONE crazy application before the deadline crossed that night. All of it, impossible without our breathless traveling back and forth the secreteriat, the passport office, the Dean's place; all of it impossible without your rock-solid support and love.

I miss breaking down. I hardly break down now. I have nobody to break down to. I want to break down NOW. Right now, as I write this, at my desk, in a snazzy air-conditioned library, at 2 AM in the morning, in the middle of reading the 1st of the 7 more papers I have to read, I have a desperate longing, to throw all this out of the window, take the next train to the airport, fly to the Asian College of Journalism, wake you up, and kiss you, and break down till I am tired enough to go to sleep.

That's all. I still love you.