I have had a very good friend once and I have been noticing him change, over the year. Well, I do not mean what I am sure you thought I meant. As in, he has not ceased to being my friend or for that matter, ‘good’, and he and I are still friends. What I meant is that he has just changed as a person.
No, change is definitely not what I feel has happened, now that I think of it.
And I am really sorry if this is getting really messy. It’s just that I do not know how to put this.
Let's put it this way: at one point of time, he preferred to be a certain him, and now he prefers to be the other him. As in, those two hims always existed in him, but he chose to be a particular him over the other him, more, during those days when we were friends.
Well, it is not that he and I are no longer friends, again. I have this morbid idea that you are getting me wrong. He and I are still friends and still talk, and have a very nice time, and he is still the beautiful human being that he was, and has never had any issues with me since the time we became friends. But then since he no longer, let's call it, wears the previous him, and we became friends when he wore the previous him, and sorry, I must stop here and rephrase this sentence because it sounds like he's a hypocrite which he is not. In fact, he is the most honest person I've ever known in my life.
Let's say, 'since he no longer prefers the previous him'. That sounds alright.
So, what I want to tell you is that, the word friend, in his case, reminds me of the old him and the old us.
No, it does not remind me, for God’s sake, of the old him and the old us. It just makes me automatically, or rather, by default, assume the old him and the old us. And old conversations based on whatever he was, and believed in, then. Like, when I think of us as 'the friends', I am automatically thinking of the Us who used to make random calls, to discuss extremely irrelevant things and also extremely relevant things (like ‘her’ and ‘him’).
Oh! And sometimes, there were discussed: Physics and Coelho, and the Universe.
But, it was so that one thing was happening quietly under the rug.
It’s called: growing up.
The symptom is: preferring to be the you, that prefers keeping its own beliefs to itself. (It generally prefers to be less affected, bothered, ‘involved’ or hurt and is more flexible and happy. It prefers to share jokes and laughs and have a cheerful time)
So you see, we kind of grew up.
And like all grown-ups, I tend to find myself saying, ‘I have had very good friends when I was a child’.
No, change is definitely not what I feel has happened, now that I think of it.
And I am really sorry if this is getting really messy. It’s just that I do not know how to put this.
Let's put it this way: at one point of time, he preferred to be a certain him, and now he prefers to be the other him. As in, those two hims always existed in him, but he chose to be a particular him over the other him, more, during those days when we were friends.
Well, it is not that he and I are no longer friends, again. I have this morbid idea that you are getting me wrong. He and I are still friends and still talk, and have a very nice time, and he is still the beautiful human being that he was, and has never had any issues with me since the time we became friends. But then since he no longer, let's call it, wears the previous him, and we became friends when he wore the previous him, and sorry, I must stop here and rephrase this sentence because it sounds like he's a hypocrite which he is not. In fact, he is the most honest person I've ever known in my life.
Let's say, 'since he no longer prefers the previous him'. That sounds alright.
So, what I want to tell you is that, the word friend, in his case, reminds me of the old him and the old us.
No, it does not remind me, for God’s sake, of the old him and the old us. It just makes me automatically, or rather, by default, assume the old him and the old us. And old conversations based on whatever he was, and believed in, then. Like, when I think of us as 'the friends', I am automatically thinking of the Us who used to make random calls, to discuss extremely irrelevant things and also extremely relevant things (like ‘her’ and ‘him’).
Oh! And sometimes, there were discussed: Physics and Coelho, and the Universe.
But, it was so that one thing was happening quietly under the rug.
It’s called: growing up.
The symptom is: preferring to be the you, that prefers keeping its own beliefs to itself. (It generally prefers to be less affected, bothered, ‘involved’ or hurt and is more flexible and happy. It prefers to share jokes and laughs and have a cheerful time)
So you see, we kind of grew up.
And like all grown-ups, I tend to find myself saying, ‘I have had very good friends when I was a child’.
And I definitely did not mean what I am sure your thought I meant. And he and I are still good friends and he is still a beautiful human being and I still like him a lot and likewise.
This is not all why I am writing this post.
No, hey, this is all why I am writing this post.
-Cinderella
This is not all why I am writing this post.
No, hey, this is all why I am writing this post.
-Cinderella
posted by Puff at
June 11, 2008
2 Comments:
lovely style and interesting set of ideas and in the utter confusion you managed to convey your thoughts...a beautiful stream of consciousness...love the work
All the time you think you are right and he has changed, maybe, you have also changed, or you both should change not only him...actually what happen, with the time, our expectation increases, first maybe your certain acts, he didnt expect you will do, now he expects..that all because of both of you are friends for so long, he dont expect the same, from others,but from you..you might consider to think about this also..
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