I have been in a relationship for 5 months now.
Life seems smoother and easier these days. Problems seem less difficult for there are always two heads to think, sadness seems bearable for there are always two hearts to contain.

Sometimes I wonder what the real importance of a relationship truly is, in life. For, you know, it could be only an opium, without you knowing it, it could change your perception.
Perceptions are after all, just electrical impulses interpretted by the brain.

And your mind can twist a few facts in the dark, when you aren't looking.

I have always looked into life from one perspective and felt really brave and intrigued of the strength of my own thoughts but when it has come to living them, I have performed rather miserably.
Courage, I need, I think.

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends, of most of the people you see every day, is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.

Made on 25th November,2009. By me.

There are days when nothing works your way and no matter how much you try. The printer runs out of ink, the shops run out of what you want, and your wallet runs out of money. And it's Sunday evening suddenly, when you have all the money and all the shutters are down. And no matter how much you try to get things straight, nothing works your way. And the more nothing works your way, the more nothing works you way.

And you wonder how those friends of yours are Just.Shit.Lucky. Luck is disgusting when your neighbour has it all the time.

Sanatdadu died today. I loved him. He loved me back.
At times when I was sad and I played the flute from my balcony, he'd listen from his. At times when he was sad and sang from his balcony, I'd listen from mine. At times when I went to his place, he spoke of old days and new days and then and now, and I'd listen. He spoke of Shantiniketan and red alleys. And how he hated his contemporaries who only spoke of diseases.

He never had any disease, if you ask me. Diseases are all in the mind. If your mind is diseased, it spreads like plague to the body.

He called me a few days back to fix his computer. I lied that I had exams, for it was difficult teaching him how to operate the computer.

I saw him lying, face up, in his computer room at 7 o'clock in the evening. Someone has stuffed cotton into his nose.

He's gone, by now.
His body, I meant. I won't see him sitting in his balcony when I come back home, anymore.

I broke my flute long back. It's scary, now, really, at this hour of night, for if I'm sad suddenly, I'll have nothing to play and nonone listening.