Friday, June 08, 2012

I was looking at our pictures in facebook. Then I felt like calling him, but it was too late and too early to call.

It has suddenly struck me that I am leaving really.

And I am reminded of the way he used to form a plane with his hand, to pull my leg.

'Whoosh!', he would say and smile.


Playing with Shadows


When I was a little girl, I played a game of chasing shadows. I would run after my shadow till it disappeared (into another shadow). I considered it caught when it disappeared. Then I'd carefully hold my freshly-caught shadow like a cloth in my hands, tenderly put it inside my diary, like bookmarks are placed, in between pages.
My diary was a proud anthology of shadows of all moods.
There were happy shadows, sad shadows, pretty shadows, ugly shadows.There were funny shadows, moody shadows, dreamy shadows. And later, when I'd sit down to write, I'd carefully feel my shadows with my fingers, place my ears on the pages of my diary to hear their idiosyncrasies, and chant, "I will now forever-freeze-you with words".

Then, one day, I got bored of my little game and grew up, went to school, college and university. 

Twenty-two long years later I have found my diary again. And as I flip through its pages, I feel a faraway feeling. Like a feather, it floats into my insides and settles down in the darkness of my soul.

I feel like I am still a little girl who chases shadows. Only, I don't know how to catch them anymore.